Seeking Approval

I came across this article the other day:

Why people don’t have to like you and why you don’t have to care

It resonated with something I’d been listening to that day (isn’t synchronicity great?) by Caroline Myss, in particular something she asked:

“Whose approval do you seek today?”

We spend so much time trying to please others – family, friends, partners, bosses, colleagues – the list is almost endless. Sometimes the need to gain the approval of others can tie us in knots as we become conflicted – trying to please everyone all of the time. Ms Myss went on to say:

“What about yourself?”

It’s the age-old thing that if you don’t like (love, approve of) yourself, how can you expect others to like  you? It was quite liberating to realize that if I approve of myself, if I stick to my core values, then the people that matter will gravitate towards me. And how sweet is it to get the respect and approval of people you yourself respect!


One thought on “Seeking Approval”

  1. Paul says:

    “It turns out that seeking self-esteem can be a life-long pursuit and that changes in one’s circumstances tend to lower one’s self-esteem, whereas unconditional self-acceptance, once defined and achieved, is stable over time. Thus, it is my contention that pursuing unconditional self-acceptance is a heartier and more useful concept than pursuing high self-esteem.”

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